One of the great, under-reported stories of this young century is the story of how much time, money and effort is wasted on preposterous ways of keeping us “safe”. Here’s a real doozie: the Canadian poppy quarter that American army contractors thought might be a secret spy technology. Yes, when the next terrorists strike, it will certainly be with the aid of nanotechnology-laden coins.

I imagine the coins will be hidden in someone’s shoe and will be micro-trigger devices for a liquid bomb of some quantity more than 100 mL (3.4 oz). (Dangerous liquids never occur in quantities smaller than 100 mL.) Unfortunately, such bombs also only work at cruising altitudes of 33,000 feet or higher, thus making it a near certainty that this tragedy will occur on a plane.

Yessir, our governments and militaries at work. Looking out for the freakin’ red spy coin.

Update: And if you need another reason we should all feel so safe….