Please Return Your Stomachs and Brainwaves to Their Upright Position

I’ve never been especially fond of air travel. For one, the name is such a misnomer. ‘Air’ implies a breezy, carefree journey. Light as the clouds. Fresh as an October morning. Yet strangely, what I usually experience is the loud, turbulent rumbling of a metal and plastic tube diligently packed with passengers and filled with oxygen carefully preserved from the Battle of Stalingrad.