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October 13, 2000 — 4 PM

We all hate automated phone

We all hate automated phone systems, of course. Nefarious, malicious beasts, they offer us endless circular menus, over-friendly female voices, and my personal favourite, "Please stay on the line, a representative will be with you shortly." Or how about having five choices, none of which sound like the one you want, while the option to "punch 0 for to speak to a representative" has been thoughtfully removed. I questioned one "representative" one day, and she admitted that the whole point of the system was to prevent customers from speaking to a Real Human BeingTM for as long as possible. Doesn't "customer service" imply that one serves the customer?

Rants aside, one company, National Discount Brokers, seems at least to be concerned with its customers' good spirits. Call them at 1-800-888-3999 (toll-free, honest), listen to your options, and if it isn't obvious, try number 7. Every company may not have an option 0, but as the e-mail forward remarked: "Every company should have an option 7." Indeed.

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