October 28, 2004 at 9 AM
Other Events I Never Thought I’d See In My Lifetime
If you’re a Red Sox booster this morning, left is right, up is down, black is white, Republican is Democrat, Oceania is Eurasia. It’s hard to accept your entire understanding of the laws of the universe changing in three hours of sport. The Fox Network seemed to acknowledge this paradox of reality, though, by showing a bar in New York City full of people cheering whenever the Red Sox scored.
Anyway, as long as the getting is good, we really ought to take advantage of this rapprochement between the Heavens and Mere Mortals/Red Sox Fans. Why not knock off some other items from the list of heretofore-we-done-thunk-impossibles:
- World peace
- Nice guys finishing first
- Ice cream that doesn’t melt and drip on your pants in the sun
- Warp speed
- Socks that maintain all of their original elasticity over time
- Buses you’re trying to catch wait until after you’ve run to the stop and got and on board before driving away over a big puddle, soaking the sidewalk
Yes friends, I envision a new era.