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October 30, 2002 — 2 PM

Classic Women and How to Look Like One

The elegant Morning News offers women pointers on the helpful classic musts of fashion, a companion to their earlier series on men.

Although les femmes de Montréal generally dress with respectable flair, there are a few obvious trends about which I, the innocent bystander gentleman, must complain.

First, assymetrical single shoulder straps flatter nobody. Can you imagine how silly these tops would look on a man? Well, only marginally more silly than they look on women. Either be a show off in a tube or halter top, or accept the fact that 99.8% of women look better in a proper tank top.

Modesty aside, the odd accidental glimpse of underthings can be subtly alluring. Pelvic parts, however, and the “porn-star triangle of G-string” belong inside your jeans, not climbing eagerly out of them.

And finally, fur — real or fake — is, after all these years, still ugly, unless you live in the Arctic.

Comments

If you want to see what those single shoulder strap tops look like on a man, take a look at fred flinstone!

he used to wear a nice spotted orange number over one shoulder and nothing else - thank god for progress… ;-)

Adam | Oct. 31, 2002 — 1 AM

Previously: I Never Forget a Face

Subsequently: News You Can’t Use

October 2002
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